He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Dear god my vagina.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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