Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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