If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize
