If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
