I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
