so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
