so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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