I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
