These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
