apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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