it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
