in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize