Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
