ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
