He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
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