Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
