I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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