I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
