I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
