Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
How does it feel to date your dad?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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