Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
They took my balls.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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