am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
