If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
i out mim tonsoeep
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