Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
