Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
COCAINE IS GR8
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize