do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
