at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
