just tell him i said nine months
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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