After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
