i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
