The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
