I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
