her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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