they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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