He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
