Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
