Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
