dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize