i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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