and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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