Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
