listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
how do flat chested girls get laid?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Sex in the backyard? Check.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
