Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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