Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
