She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize