i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
