i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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