You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
