where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
