i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
he fucked my hip out of place.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
