god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize