We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
