remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
