Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
