Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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