I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize