stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
My dad is sitting where you rode me
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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