If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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