What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
